Letter 119: Rhythms of Life
When we trust in the phases
Whether it’s side-by-side on the bench after a difficult tennis match or sitting in the car debriefing for an hour after an evening dinner out with friends, my friend Kristi has words of wisdom for all types of situations. Her letter today expresses the belief that although difficult situations may be hard to comprehend at the moment, with time and growth, we can come to understand and appreciate them. What moments in your life felt unbearable at the time, but eventually you came to understand and appreciate more fully? We often forget to remember those hard feelings, but sometimes, they are the most important. —Molly
“Sometimes you’re the gardener, and sometimes you’re the rose.”
—Unknown
About six months ago, our trusty garbage disposal decided to pull the plug on itself. Every time we flipped the switch, all it could muster was this dismal, low-pitched hum. Luckily, my father-in-law was scheduled to make a visit, and we knew that meant it was honey-do list time.
Now, allow me to clarify, I love my husband, but it is a well-established fact that he does not possess the knack for repair work, like–at all.
As fate would have it, my father-in-law, with his seasoned eye for repair, examined our very sad-sounding disposal. Unfortunately, he delivered bad news – disposals are generally tough to repair, and we would be better off just buying a new one.
Five hundred dollars for a new disposal?
That was definitely not in the budget. So, like any sensible folks, we left it there, just sitting in its pathetic, non-functional state. I will spare you the gory details of all the nasty stuff that ended up down the drain and then had to be scooped by hand. Let's just say it wasn't pretty.
Fast forward to this morning when I decided to play MacGyver. I fired up YouTube and watched this garbage disposal repair video. Lo and behold, within five minutes, I cracked the case. The culprit? A teaspoon measuring spoon handle wedged between the gears and the wall. With a little not-so-gentle persuasion from a screwdriver, that sucker popped right out! I flipped the switch, and voila! Our "impossible to fix" garbage disposal was purring like a kitten.
I was on cloud nine. I sprinted over to my seven-year-old daughter, exclaiming, "Halle, women rule! We're tough, resourceful, and brilliant!" She gave me a nod and a smile before wandering off to do her thing, probably thinking I was a total weirdo.
The culprit: the steel end of a measuring spoon.
You see, I am a big fan of independence. I was raised to be capable and strong and I tout that title proudly. I strive to be strong physically and mentally, so that I can weather the inevitable storms that life brings.
Still, I’m in a season where it’s a bit easier to handle things on my own. My kids are old enough to dress and bathe and feed themselves, they are all in school, I have a job, a home, a husband, and friends that I love. I am in a season where I am the gardener, tending to my people, and my things.
I have had enough experience to know, however, that life is a steady rhythm of ups and downs. When I look back and remember the birth of my kids, the exhausting stages of diapering and teething and tantrums, I can name the people that brought me a meal, held my crying baby, and cried with me when it was all too much.
When I miscarried and felt wrecked by the disappointment and loss of the future I had imagined, it was friends sharing their own stories of loss and an 8-hour grieving car ride with my mom that started to mend my heart and restore the hope that I thought was lost.
That is the rhythm of life. We go through the ups and downs, losses and victories, and we're there for each other. Sometimes, it's a whole season of struggle, and sometimes, it's just a quick stumble. But here's the real deal: True happiness in this life means being both gardener and the rose.
So, here's my nugget of wisdom for you: If you’re in a season of waiting or struggle, it won’t last forever. Lean on the people around you, let them care for you. Think of the strength you borrow as a loan you’ll repay when the tide shifts.
Lastly, if a cherished face comes to mind as you read this, seize the moment to connect. Whether it's over a cup of coffee, a walk, or a simple text expressing your love and gratitude, do it. Life's brevity serves as a constant reminder that nothing, not our most cherished moments or our hardest trials, lasts forever.
Kristi’s 5 Favorite Things
My Favorite Cozy Sweater: Now that the weather has cooled off, you can find me in this every single day. I know, it’s expensive…but omg it’s worth every penny.
Trader Joe’s Super Sour Scandinavian Swimmers: Trying to go dye-free has me really missing my Sour Patch Watermelon candies. These are from Trader Joe’s and have zero food dye.
My Favorite Shoes to Dress Up or Down: I wear these Nikes with jeans, cozy pants, or a cute dress. They literally go with anything.
Stardust, a Cycle-Tracking App: Disclaimer–it’s a little “woo woo” - but I have found it incredibly helpful to get insights into the hormone highs and lows associated with each phase. Whether I am feeling spendy, moody, energetic, or lethargic, I can usually go to my app and have an “aha” moment when I see where I am in my cycle.
ChatGPT: I am actually shocked at the amount of people who don’t know about this yet. Need a business plan, resume, social media post, idea for a book? ChatGPT can help with that. It’s your AI best friend, and it’s free.
In gratitude,
Kristi Rice
P.S. Kristi pushes us to refuse to stay still and the importance of curiosity.
