Letter 90: Dear Creative
Letter 90: Dear Creative
When we remember what's important
We’re so happy you’re here! The Learning Curve is a weekly newsletter where women of all ages share their understandings, joys, and learnings through their personal narratives. Our writers span many generations, cultures, identities, and ethnicities.
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Is Spring finally here?
We’ve been waiting for weeks for Spring to arrive in Tennessee. These last few months have been soggy with non-stop rain and too many tornado warnings for my liking. I’ve shared here before about my love of new seasons and fresh starts and today’s letter is a perfect example of that.
My dear friend, Bess, is a very talented artist. I’ve been drawn to her work as long as I’ve known her; her whole heart and soul come out in all that she does. And what you see on her canvas, is exactly who she is in real life: a true believer in beauty, vulnerability, and grace. She is a tremendous support and a sense of calm for those of us who are lucky enough to be her friend and I know you’ll be able to see why she creates such amazing art when you read her powerful message below. —Molly
Click below to hear Bess read her letter:
Dear Creative,
I see you. Thank you for offering to the world something no one else can—a piece of you. What you do can’t always be measured by our world’s standards and can sometimes be misunderstood, which makes this a very risky business. What you do is perhaps the most vulnerable of work. Keep going. The world needs us.
Bess
I have always loved to create and paint. I am a rule follower by nature, but art has always been the one place where I didn’t feel pressure to follow the rules or “stay in the lines.” I am an abstract expressionist painter and I have always enjoyed the freedom I’m given to create things that do not have to be exactly what someone expects them to be. Abstraction allows me to explore tools and materials and paint intuitively, without restraint.
I grew up in a home with the most fantastically gifted artist I know, my brother. Ten years my senior, his place as the family artist was well established by the time I arrived on the scene. He is an indescribable talent and I am so amazed by him. I always created, but given our family dynamic, I tried to keep it private for fear of comparison. My artistic expression and giftedness are very different from my brothers’. It would be like comparing apples to cats if you will.
At no fault of their own, my artistic expression didn’t, and maybe still doesn’t, make sense to my family. As I’ve aged, I’ve realized that this is part of the beauty of art. It is entirely personal, and each person isn’t meant to connect with every piece of art.
For years I looked outward for validation as far as my work’s value was concerned. Thankfully, I had art teachers and professors and some dear friends pour into me, and over time I began to see my work differently. I remember my best friend saying, "I would buy this. Someone else would too."
I had no idea where to start or how to accomplish that. This was before the days when you could just create a new Instagram account for your work. We came up with the plan to reach out to a local décor and art retailer and simply ask if they would like to see or sell my work. She sat with me as I nervously emailed them work samples and awaited their response. There was so much weighing on that response for me. I am eternally grateful to the owner of that store for taking a chance on a total and complete unknown. That experience gave me the confidence to keep going, and sometimes that is all you need, just a few people in your corner rooting you on. That bit of confidence can carry you through the no's that you encounter because they are inevitable as well.
With their encouragement and confidence from within, I was able to let go of personal roadblocks and put myself out there. It was simultaneously terrifying and exhilarating, but I survived and have been selling my artwork for over a decade now. Working as an artist has been an unexpected road full of surprises, doubts, vulnerability, successes, and failures. I’m still learning and enjoying where the ride takes me.
Wherever you are on your own creative path—whether you’re a full-time artist, a woman creating for self-care, or somewhere in between—perhaps these personal reflections below will encourage you, affirm you, or be something you needed to hear right now:
There is room for us all. Just because there is someone else who is doing what you want to do well or what you label as better than you, that doesn’t mean that you can’t do it also. In fact, if you are looking to sell your work, this proves there is a desire and market for what you can offer the world.
Imposter syndrome is a predator lurking and ready to steal valuable opportunities and joy. I have had to learn to recognize negative self-talk and boss it back in place. I will never forget walking into my first juried art show to drop off my works. I got out of the car with such pride and hope and joy. The instant I entered the room I was surrounded by dozens of other artists' works and it felt like the air was sucked from my lungs.
The voice in my head started, "Wow, these are so much better. What are you even doing here?" Bossing back that inner critic is empowering and necessary. The inner critic is a bully. Be firm and shut it down speaking directly back and taking charge of your inner dialogue. For example, at that moment I would say something like this in return:
"I belong here and I earned my place. My work is worthy. "
With time, experience, and perspective, moments of self-doubt and illegitimacy become fewer and less intrusive. I’d love to say that these go away, but I think they are a part of doing anything vulnerable and that they, in fact, can be part of the growing process as a creative.
Take inventory of the people at your table. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who don’t champion you, cheer you on, and want you to win.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions and learn from other artists. Also, be willing to help others by sharing your helpful experiences. Getting connected with other creatives (face-to-face) is life-giving! I have made great connections and friends at local art shows. Many communities also have local artist groups that have meet-up times. I make time to have coffee or lunches out with other artists. I have gleaned so much wisdom and practical knowledge from other more experienced artists. It has also been a great joy in my life to do the same for others. We are all at different places in the journey. I find most artists to be kind people who are happy to share their experiences and expertise.
Don’t let an ignorant or rude comment stop you. It’s more about them and not about you. Oftentimes I find these comments are made out of ignorance rather than maliciousness.
It’s okay to take creative breaks. Sometimes taking a break can bring better efficiency, new ideas, and life back to the creative process. Whenever I feel like I am forcing myself, I give myself the liberty to either shelf art for a breather or put that project away and play creatively on another for some reprieve.
Creating the same thing on repeat can lead me to a stale place. I now know that just because something is lucrative doesn’t mean I will love to do it. If I don’t love a project, I will ultimately burn out. Give yourself the creative license and time to try something new, experiment, and even make “bad art!” You’ll pick up some new techniques and energy in the process.
Keep showing up! That’s the hardest part. Make the mark. Make some more. Make mistakes. There is great value in the process, so show up for it and enjoy the ride.
Bess’ Five Favorite Things
I use e.l.f. Halo Glow Liquid Filter to give my skin an instant youthful glow. I love the oversized concealer-style applicator and the finish is perfectly dewy!
Magic Mornings Journal: I have read just about every book about successful morning routines in search of better morning practice. This journal combines all the components I wanted to incorporate into my morning routine and has packaged it in a way that is streamlined and sustainable. (You can read Natalee’s—who created the journal—letter here!)
Organic India tulsi ginger turmeric tea: Recently I've replaced my nightly wine with hot tea, and this one packs a punch with adaptogens to fight stress and help relaxation, and turmeric and ginger for reduced inflammation and immune system support.
Zum Laundry Soap, Frankincense, and Myrrh: This natural powerhouse smells incredible and cleans clothes well. Be prepared for people to ask you what your detergent is!
Beachwaver: This rotating curling iron creates the perfect wave every time. It's super easy and fast!
In gratitude,
Bess Farris
P.S. Sharing more creatives here: April, Jennifer, & Jaz!
