Letter 87: STEM is in Style
When we refuse to waste our time ~ Women's Work Series #4, Lainey Carvajal
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Happy Wednesday and welcome to the fourth week of our Women’s Work series!
Here’s a bit of background on the series from my intro to our first letter:
Molly and I asked several women to share their insights about their impressions and experiences with work for our third TLC series!
The derogatory term “women’s work” describes work that is typically relegated to women, including housework and childrearing, but teaching and nursing are also often included within the phrase. When Molly and I were crafting this series, I thought about how important it was to flip some of the societal expectations of women who work inside and outside our homes on its head. Why is “women’s work” degraded? Because it is deemed unimportant. But nothing is further from the truth. As women, it is incredibly important for us to reinforce the idea that what we do matters. Our work matters to our families, to our communities, and—most of all—it matters to us.
Today, I’m so excited to introduce my cousin Lainey Carvajal, a young professional in STEM. Lainey has always been amazing, but as Molly and I have shared many times over, it is such a pleasure to see these young women who we’ve known since they were young grow up to be so damn impressive. While it’s true that many times youth is wasted on the young, in the case of Lainey, it’s refreshing to know that this cliché is false. Thank you, Lainey, for sharing about your experience in mechanical engineering, a field that is dominated by men. Lainey writes more about being a young woman in STEM on her blog, STEMisinstyle.com. Take it away, Lainey! —Emily
Click play to hear Emily read Lainey’s letter.
“[My mother] told me that fear was not an option. I was always told that women are stronger, so I believed it.”
What messages were you sent as a young woman that your work, career, or job equates with success, happiness, or fulfillment?
The word career can be incredibly daunting to someone in her twenties. (ME!) Our chosen professions can so easily become the focus of our lives and an integral part of our identities. The word career can be exciting because it can include amazing opportunities, success, and achievement! But it can also be heavy, stressful, confusing, and draining. This confusion all started in my first segment of life, childhood.
Throughout my childhood, adults constantly asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” In my earliest years, I would pretend to be a teacher, doctor, veterinarian, and even a builder. But really I just wanted to be a grown-up. Reaching adulthood is what every kid wants, right? Then you get here and you’re like, “Shit, they were right. I should’ve soaked up every minute of my youth.”
I had no idea that those moments of child’s play would grow into something much deeper. The idea of a career was a seed planted in my head, and curiosity about my future inevitably followed. I asked nearly adult I knew about their career choice—my mom, grandparents, aunts, and uncles—I wanted to know about their lives. Where they worked in the past, what they do now, and whether or not they enjoy it. After hearing their stories, I asked myself what I wanted for my future and began to determine what it would take to get there. Then, boom! In the blink of an eye, I've found myself here, in adulthood: in the midst of my early career, making it happen. Time really does fly.
When I reflect on how I got to my current life stage, I realize how many events and relationships have had an influence on my journey. Of course, my mom, my teachers, and my coaches all had an impact on me. But one person in particular stands out as being my greatest influence: my grandfather.
My grandfather is a hard-working man (seriously, he’s retired and can’t stop finding projects to do), and is the definition of diligence and sacrifice. I will never forget the many lessons he has taught me that are now embedded into who I am today. Some of my favorite lessons of his are…
Your job is important: It pays the bills. It might not always be fun, but it is worth keeping.
Sometimes you will have to deal with BS. In life, in college, in your career—it’s an unfortunate part of the process.
Handle the tough times with grace and patience. It may feel like going through the motions, but you’ll show your ability to adapt and overcome, to persist and achieve. These attributes will establish the foundation that you will continually rely on, especially as you build your career.
I’ve returned to his advice many times, especially throughout college as I pursued my degree in mechanical engineering and while I was just starting out in my career. Reflecting on each of these points has helped me push myself to get to where I am today working in the ever-changing electrical industry. Somehow I landed here, and I can fully attribute my success to following my gut and pursuing my passions.
In what ways do you believe work and gender are connected?
My journey has had its bumps, and I have accumulated some bruises. The mechanical engineering industry is most definitely for those with thick skin. It is tough being a woman in my field, but the journey thus far has also been exhilarating and rewarding (as well as stressful, scary, and intimidating at times). I’ve decided to take the reins to control my own destiny, which is pretty thrilling. It’s especially interesting to have experiences that I had only heard about before. I had heard stories and had expectations, but it wasn’t until I experience something personally that I was able to truly understand and dissect it for myself. These firsthand experiences have allowed me to see how my perspectives have evolved—perspectives that many may perceive as a generational shift.
What are your thoughts on anti-hustle culture?
My generation (Gen Z) is in an interesting spot. Our predecessors (many times our role models) were taught to put their heads down and to do what needed to be done, so they did just that. They worked, paid the bills, repeat. They came from an era where monetary “security” was the greatest measure of success. Yet, I believe that we are starting to see a shift in our age of new technology. Our work-life balance is becoming more important to us, and the previous mindset of “work to live; don’t live to work” is being widely adopted and the “anti-hustle” movement is evolving.
My friends and I discuss these new concepts a lot, including our careers, our purpose, the meaning of life… all the things. We talk through our struggles, our aspirations, and our goals. We help guide each other through life and try to figure it out as if there were a right answer. But, wow, life is so confusing. For example, do we follow the reliable paved path and overwork ourselves, just to only be able to enjoy our lives when we are old and wrinkly? That sounds terrible, doesn't it? Do we fall into the anti-hustle culture and leisurely go through life without taking risks or–more importantly–without pushing ourselves? That doesn’t sound fulfilling. That might sound nice for a bit, but for me, it would get old really fast.
What are your hopes for yourself in terms of your career?
As a twentysomething who has figured out a few things, this is what I’ve realized:
Whether we like it or not, our means of making money to live the life we want will take up a large percentage of our lives. On average, a person will spend about one-third of their lives sleeping and one-third of their lives working. That doesn’t leave a whole lot of time that we can be certain of. And I’m not the biggest fan of wasting my time.
I’ve decided that my purpose will drive my career. My purpose is an integral part of not just my own identity, but my collective identity as well. At the end of the day, when I lie down and live that sleepy one-third of my life, I want to feel good about the other two-thirds. This mindset allows each aspect of my life to feel full and meaningful, to feel unapologetically mine. I have a sense of happiness and direction. I get to fuel my passions and be excited every day while continuing to stay motivated.
Many will say that I’m young, wide-eyed, and naive, and maybe that’s true. But having a pessimistic outlook isn’t going to get me very far. So why not go big, be bold, and pursue my life’s greatest dreams and aspirations? Worst case, I’ll end up like everyone else. Best case, I’ll end up a revolutionary badass, with a legacy to leave behind that I can be proud of.
With gratitude,
Lainey Carvajal
P.S. The real world reimagined, changing directions, and at our happiest.
