Letter 58: At Our Happiest
Letter 58: At Our Happiest
When we find a glimpse of happiness in each day
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Happy Wednesday!
Today’s letter is written by Devin Helm, a former student of mine (Emily’s). Devin was an incredibly impressive high school student—she is mature, kind, confident, and a compelling writer. As Molly and I began our search for future contributors for this newsletter, we both thought of our past students who stood out to us through the years—those who made indelible impressions on us and on those around them. It has been one of my greatest joys to hear from these amazing young women over the past year.
There’s an old saying that youth is wasted on the young; however, I think that youth can be a difficult time. To be young is to be green—new and tender and learning as one goes. Like much of life, youth is both beautiful and brutal, which is what Devin’s letter expresses so well: we are figuring it out as we go. Let’s give ourselves a little grace. — Emily
Two things:
Devin mentions her archived blog from her year abroad while participating in The World Race, which you can find here.
There was a mishap with sending last week’s letter (outlining our favorite newsletter recommendations of 2022!), click here to read it in full!
“You have not yet experienced all of your happiest days”
Six months ago, I moved to Arkansas…again. I’ll save the extra-long sob story for another time, but back in 2019, I moved to Arkansas for the first time. I first moved to Arkansas with the intention to attend the university for the next four years. And let me tell you, those first six months of living there were NOT nice to me, so I packed up and moved back to Texas.
Now, fast forward. I am back. And better than ever.
Move-in day: I posted this photo on my Instagram story captioned, “And I love it here.” I had finally reached Arkansas after a full day of driving, intimidated by the “old me” in the rearview mirror.
I am back in the place I loved so deeply but thought had caused me so much pain. I moved back here with high hopes and a whole heart. I told myself, “It will be different.” I dreamed of the new friendships to be had. I thought about the new person I had become and how she would show up differently this time. The first few days here became full of hopeful daydreams. Each day brings about new, exciting goals. My head spiraled with endless possibilities of what could be.
A month into my new life, “the funk” hit me. By “the funk,” I mean the brutal realization that life is not my most lavish daydream. Months went by of me waking up every day drained. My routine became work, work, repeat. I was exhausted, burned out, and over it.
At the end of each day, I’d lie in my bed and scroll through the 10,000 photos in my camera roll, reminiscing on my favorite days—when I was happiest. There is no exaggeration when I say that each day looked like every week. Sure, there were days when I met up with friends or did something other than work and school—even those days measured up to nothing because I was in my way. It’s funny how easy it is to blame the circumstances around you when genuinely it’s your own doing.
I love to look at old photos. I can confidently say it is one of my favorite past times, but old photos are exactly that—old. They are merely glimpses of our favorite memories. I realized that I was focusing entirely too much on the memories that I wasn’t allowing myself to make new ones. I greeted each new day with a set standard for it to live up to, and I gave no leeway when it came to allowing new opportunities to bring me joy. I took my best experiences from different times in my life with other people and tried to place them with me in Arkansas. I wondered why my typical Monday in Fayetteville didn’t give me the same joy I had a year ago when I watched sunsets on the beach in Costa Rica. It sounds obvious, right? But I’ll admit it was hard for me to realize that fully. I still catch myself trying to think back in time and compare my moments. Letting my days decide for themselves is hard, but it also gives me the power to choose. To choose not to go back to a place of comparison and make something special from life's little celebrations.
After I felt like my life was falling apart for six months straight, I decided to take the quote, “Do more of what makes you happy,” and make it my mantra. I began taking one day out of the week to do what I love to do—all of the things that I usually claim not to have any time for. For me, that looks like a Whole Foods run to grab whatever my weekly craving is or a relaxing morning spent at a local coffee shop, or a day to lay in bed and catch up on TV. This is what I call a “me day.” It changes my perspective. These specific days have become my holy grail, and it’s something I emphasize to anyone I can.
So, to the person reading this: Focus on the present. Find a glimpse of happiness in each day. Allow your mundane days to become your happiest ones, and if they don't, don’t fret! Choose yourself and do more of what makes you happy! Those will be your happiest days.
Devin’s Five Favorite Things
I am currently loving the western-style shoe trend! I’ll take any excuse to prance around in my cowboy boots! Right now I’m gushing over the Pinky Tuscadero boots from Planet Cowboy!
Go-to coffee order: Starbucks Brown Sugar Shaken Espresso w/ Coconut milk + vanilla cold foam. YUM!
One of my favorite Instagram accounts is @vibesofablackgirl. No matter your race, it is such a resourceful account that brings fun into educating yourself.
My favorite movie is Mamma Mia. This is more of a forever favorite, but currently, the soundtrack has been making me extra happy! Who doesn’t love jamming out to ABBA!? I love just a little bit of “Dancing Queen” to get my day started.
If you haven’t tried the Scandinavian Swimmers gummies from Trader Joe’s, you are missing out on the best sour gummy you may EVER taste. I tried them for the first time last year and now I get them any chance I can get. (And they’re Gluten-Free!)
With gratitude,
Devin Helm
P.S. Everything we need is already right in front of us, good things take time, and celebrating the everyday.