Letter 27: Meaning in the Mundane

When we pay attention to the little things

Happy, happy November!

Emily and I are thrilled to welcome back Natalie and her practical-yet-whimsical perspective on everyday happenings. Natalie has such a way with words; she makes her readers feel seen but also allows us to marvel at the very things we can sometimes take for granted. Natalie has a hilarious sense of humor as seen in Cereal on the Floor, her on-point Instagram meme roundup. So, as we move into the holiday season (which seems to start earlier and earlier every year) perhaps we can approach each day just as Natalie does, noticing that even the little, rote things we do are sometimes the parts of life that our loved ones will notice the most. — Molly

“And the closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.”

Indigo Girls

As things have returned to mostly normal routines this year, I’ve already found myself bogged down in the monotony of the daily family schedule.

Filling water bottles, packing lunches, the dreaded carpool line, dishes, laundry, scheduling appointments, going to appointments, homework, dinnertime, bath time, bedtime, and a dozen other tasks that seem to go unnoticed fill up the day. These are the demands that make it feel like life is more about surviving than thriving.

It’s easy to see why the primary caregiver, which is usually mom, ends up feeling drained at the end of each day. I’ve seen so many articles and studies about the “invisible labor” that mothers do, meaning the chores, tasks, and never-ending mental checklist, and the sentiment resonates with me every time.

Of course, I would encourage moms to ask for help as much as they possibly can, to cultivate a village of support, and to feel absolutely okay about “too much” screen time if you just need a break on any given day. But, I am also learning that all that invisible work is actually building something very real and meaningful whether or not you can see it yet.

It’s a struggle -- and some days, I’m quite honestly just over it -- but I’m trying to remember that all these small acts of service add up to a beautiful childhood, one in which my kids feel cared for, seen, and secure. The home I create is my kids’ safe place to land. When the world is chaotic and unpredictable and more scary than I’d like it to be, I can give my kids comfort and calm and joy within our walls. And with some luck and some prayer, that will help them grow into the kind of adults this world needs. 

When I think about the span of their lives, which are hopefully long and wonderful, they’re only in my care for a brief bit of time. Those hours spent in the minivan are the backdrop for some precious conversations about friendship and being kind, or we can all just sing our favorite songs together -- we’re still in that sweet spot where we all agree on what qualifies as “good music.”

That lunch -- that I always put off packing until morning -- is one of the best parts of my son’s day. “I love lunchtime!” he says. 

The bedtime routine that seems to go on forever is usually when my kids really open up about the days they had, or they just get extra silly, and we all end up lying on the floor laughing until our bellies hurt. 

It’s Saturday morning pancakes and family movie nights and bike rides and beach days and making messes with paint: the things that require extra effort on my part, but that bring them a little extra happiness.

So while the things that they seem to care about most right now are Halloween costumes and big birthday parties and Christmas presents they’ve wanted for six months, the more important work is creating that safe, consistent, loving space where they can be themselves and feel provided for and protected. It’s not flashy, it won’t ever go on a resume, and it often goes unnoticed, but it’s the most important job I’ll ever have.

“[My] mom did give me one tangible way to help: ‘You just make sure that when those girls walk in that door every day,” she said, ‘they never doubt that home is the most comforting place for them to be. That is what you can do.’”

Jenny Rosenstrach

Natalie’s Five Favorite Things

• Speaking of mundane things that spark joy: cereal containers. It makes me so happy to have cereal that doesn’t go stale in a week, and they actually make Froot Loops look fancy.

• Whether you’re a person of faith or not, this beautiful book of prayers by Kayla Craig is filled with the most beautiful, affirming, comforting words to speak over your children’s lives and your own.

• I made these official Ted Lasso biscuits, and they’re so simple, buttery, and delicious. Order some pink candy boxes on Etsy, and you’ll have the makings of a perfect gift to brighten someone’s day.

• In the vein of baking and biscuits, The Great British Bake Off continues to be the kind of pleasant, positive viewing experience I need after a long week. I don’t know how the producers continue to find such delightful, charming contestants.

• My one-year-old loves wearing sunglasses, and so far, these have proven to be indestructible. They have a variety of colors and styles for toddlers and kids.

With gratitude,

Natalie Broulette

P.S. What’s one way you find the joy in the little parts of daily life? Share those with us below in the comments. Also, a reminder that “kindness is love,” and a note about how to “lift up our lives.”