This is a good reminder that there are tools to meet emotionally charged moments with intention, even if I'm not the one initiating the hard conversation. It makes me think about the small, everyday chances to practice this, not just the big moments. And when you open that class on hard conversations, I'll be first to sign up!
It feels like I've had to have too many of these hard conversations in my life: telling kids their dad had cancer, helping my parents understand they needed to move because they couldn't get the help they needed at home, to name a few.
And I love the tips. I hadn't thought to figure out what someone already knows and I haven't always invited questions.
Thank you! And yes, figuring out what common ground you all stand on helps so much with navigating sticky subjects. Sounds like you have had ample opportunities to tackle hard topics head on. Hard and scary, yes, but also enriching. What bonding and trust building experiences those must have been with your kids and your parents. You sound like such a safe place to land.
Me toooooo! And sometimes, depending on the topic, I cry which makes the other person feel terrible and then the conversation totally goes off the rails. I am working on it. Does anyone have any insight into physiological reactions to tough conversations? - Anita
This article really resonated with me. I find hard conversations essential but make me sweat...and my face always flushes. The challenge is to be brave enough to have them no matter the outcome. Loved this insight. Thank you!
Me too! I have cried when trying to break bad news to family members of patients. I always worry that I’m de-centering their experience and making it about me, but then I remember that I’m human too. Maybe they feel like they have permission to feel their feelings because they’ve seen me feel mine.
I also am in the habit of trying to normalize embarrassing things for my kids: “crushes are normal. Everybody has them.” Maybe that works here too? “Hard conversations are hard. Sometimes my voice shakes and my face turns red when I do hard things. It’s normal.” Fake it till you make it, baby. :)
This is a good reminder that there are tools to meet emotionally charged moments with intention, even if I'm not the one initiating the hard conversation. It makes me think about the small, everyday chances to practice this, not just the big moments. And when you open that class on hard conversations, I'll be first to sign up!
When we open the class, it will be because YOU and Emily agreed to teach it!
Emily, your letter is so inspiring! Thank you for teaching us to find out what someone already knows and reminding us to leave room for questions.
It feels like I've had to have too many of these hard conversations in my life: telling kids their dad had cancer, helping my parents understand they needed to move because they couldn't get the help they needed at home, to name a few.
And I love the tips. I hadn't thought to figure out what someone already knows and I haven't always invited questions.
Nice letter Emily!
Thank you! And yes, figuring out what common ground you all stand on helps so much with navigating sticky subjects. Sounds like you have had ample opportunities to tackle hard topics head on. Hard and scary, yes, but also enriching. What bonding and trust building experiences those must have been with your kids and your parents. You sound like such a safe place to land.
Me toooooo! And sometimes, depending on the topic, I cry which makes the other person feel terrible and then the conversation totally goes off the rails. I am working on it. Does anyone have any insight into physiological reactions to tough conversations? - Anita
This article really resonated with me. I find hard conversations essential but make me sweat...and my face always flushes. The challenge is to be brave enough to have them no matter the outcome. Loved this insight. Thank you!
Me too! I have cried when trying to break bad news to family members of patients. I always worry that I’m de-centering their experience and making it about me, but then I remember that I’m human too. Maybe they feel like they have permission to feel their feelings because they’ve seen me feel mine.
I also am in the habit of trying to normalize embarrassing things for my kids: “crushes are normal. Everybody has them.” Maybe that works here too? “Hard conversations are hard. Sometimes my voice shakes and my face turns red when I do hard things. It’s normal.” Fake it till you make it, baby. :)
Finding (and sharing) that common humanity is the key to so many hard parts of life. You model that so well for us!