Super relatable piece, Alyson. I have found myself in the caregiver role many times over the past 25 years and the one consistent thing that I’ve found to be the most appreciated, as Molly said, is simply being present. I know that when you are the person receiving difficult (or sometimes ANY) news, at some point all you can hear is the blood rushing through your temples. Having that caregiver there to listen FOR you is an invaluable gift.
Loved this. I was with a friend this morning who is caring for her Mom. So often, caregiving involves NOT knowing what to do. It is so true that we rely on each other to not only provide care but to learn how to be better in the role of caregiver. Simple tips like you don’t need slippers in the hospital are so valuable. Also sharing the deeper truths of caregiving: trust yourself to make good decisions and that just being present to the person can be an invaluable gift.
This quote will stay with me: “Unfortunately, our society has decided there is not much value in caregiving. Capitalism requires production. Tangible production. It’s difficult for a capitalist system to place value on caregiving, which is why those who work jobs centered around care are often underpaid and undervalued.”
Ugh. SO many difficult conversations … between caregiver and care receiver, between caregivers, between caregivers and family members and friends. And all so tender because we want to go about these conversations and these decisions in ways that maintain everyone’s dignity. And as you touched on, this type of care requires time and community and love. But our go go lifestyles, our capitalist system, doesn’t place any value on dignity and proper care. So we need each other, and we need spaces like this, to remind each other that there is tremendous value and tremendous value in what you are doing. So thank you for the reminder.
So much of my time with my mom has been recognizing that I have NO IDEA what I'm doing. Just the other day, I had to talk with her about driving, and I had no idea how to enter that conversation with grace and empathy while also holding on to the reality that she is dealing with a health issue that should prevent her from driving for the time being. We came away from that conversation okay, and it was still really hard.
I love this. I love framing care giving as a gift of community. To me, this feels like a practical and loving way to push back against the overwhelming message of individualism we are pushed towards every day in America (and maybe elsewhere). Like most things that are transformative, it's not for the faint of heart. I'll think about these words all week (and beyond)!
Thank you, Beth! So much of what I was taught, through my parents, family, and society at large, was the independence and individualism is the most important thing to strive for in life. As I have moved through my 30s, I've found that community is actually what keeps us healthy, safe, secure and thriving. We may survive on our own as individuals, but it certainly isn't as rich of a life as one with community. I'm deeply grateful for this gift.
Super relatable piece, Alyson. I have found myself in the caregiver role many times over the past 25 years and the one consistent thing that I’ve found to be the most appreciated, as Molly said, is simply being present. I know that when you are the person receiving difficult (or sometimes ANY) news, at some point all you can hear is the blood rushing through your temples. Having that caregiver there to listen FOR you is an invaluable gift.
Loved this. I was with a friend this morning who is caring for her Mom. So often, caregiving involves NOT knowing what to do. It is so true that we rely on each other to not only provide care but to learn how to be better in the role of caregiver. Simple tips like you don’t need slippers in the hospital are so valuable. Also sharing the deeper truths of caregiving: trust yourself to make good decisions and that just being present to the person can be an invaluable gift.
This quote will stay with me: “Unfortunately, our society has decided there is not much value in caregiving. Capitalism requires production. Tangible production. It’s difficult for a capitalist system to place value on caregiving, which is why those who work jobs centered around care are often underpaid and undervalued.”
Ugh. SO many difficult conversations … between caregiver and care receiver, between caregivers, between caregivers and family members and friends. And all so tender because we want to go about these conversations and these decisions in ways that maintain everyone’s dignity. And as you touched on, this type of care requires time and community and love. But our go go lifestyles, our capitalist system, doesn’t place any value on dignity and proper care. So we need each other, and we need spaces like this, to remind each other that there is tremendous value and tremendous value in what you are doing. So thank you for the reminder.
So much of my time with my mom has been recognizing that I have NO IDEA what I'm doing. Just the other day, I had to talk with her about driving, and I had no idea how to enter that conversation with grace and empathy while also holding on to the reality that she is dealing with a health issue that should prevent her from driving for the time being. We came away from that conversation okay, and it was still really hard.
I love this. I love framing care giving as a gift of community. To me, this feels like a practical and loving way to push back against the overwhelming message of individualism we are pushed towards every day in America (and maybe elsewhere). Like most things that are transformative, it's not for the faint of heart. I'll think about these words all week (and beyond)!
Thank you, Beth! So much of what I was taught, through my parents, family, and society at large, was the independence and individualism is the most important thing to strive for in life. As I have moved through my 30s, I've found that community is actually what keeps us healthy, safe, secure and thriving. We may survive on our own as individuals, but it certainly isn't as rich of a life as one with community. I'm deeply grateful for this gift.