Letter 10: Finding Our Way

When we turn to another's words

Happy July! Please join us in welcoming Dr. Katie Schrodt for today’s letter!

Katie and I (Emily) go way back. We’ve now known each other for half of our lives! I documented some of our friendship history in Letter 3, but let me wax poetic again for a moment. Katie has been my best friend since the very moment I met her as freshmen at the University of North Texas. We were roommates and each other’s bridesmaids, and now we are travel buddies, presentation partners, and writing buddies. Katie has always inspired me. She’s smart as a whip, a loyal friend, a clear communicator to all (from ages two to 102), one of the most productive people I’ve ever known, an enthusiastic reader, and an eloquent and insightful writer. She’s also a loving wife and mother, which you’ll catch a glimpse of here. I’ve always said that when I grow up I want to be like Katie. You’ll see why. Thank you, Katie, for sharing these precious moments with us! — Emily

“Salutations!”

“What does that even mean?” asks my five-year-old son Monroe. His twin sister Matilda squeals with laughter.

“It means hello,” I say. The three of us are snuggled together on the couch, reading Charlotte’s Web. Matilda and Monroe take turns trying to pronounce the new word, laughing more and more with every failed attempt. Eventually they calm, and we pick the story back up where we left off. But I can already tell that Charlotte, with just one word, has found her way into our hearts.

Reading to Matilda and Monroe after they came home from the NICU. 

Charlotte was naturally patient . . . “I like to sit still,” she said. “I’ve always been rather quiet.”

When I taught kindergarten, one of my students described me with two words, “Nice and loud.” Nice is nice. But loud is about as far from quiet and patient and still as one can possibly get. I might also describe myself as talkative, busy, and productive. I like to—need to—get things done quickly and efficiently.

Maybe this explains why my children were born just thirty weeks into my pregnancy. During those earliest days, there was little for me to do other than to sit in the quiet of the NICU and wait for their tiny bodies to grow. I grew anxious. I was their mother and needed to do something. I pulled up a chair next to their beds and read for them their first book.

“After all, what’s a life, anyway? We’re born, we live a little while, we die.”

My ability to speak with eloquence often disappears the moment my children ask a difficult question. I stammer and stumble in search of words.

Even so, I do not run from these conversations and often turn to books for assistance.

To help explain the reality and effects of racism, we read Separate is Never Equal: Sylvia Mendez and Her Family’s Fight for Desegregation by Duncan Tonatiuh. Also, Martin’s Big Words: The Life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. by Doreen Rappaport.

When discussing personal boundaries, we read Consent (for Kids!): Boundaries, Respect, and Being in Charge of YOU by Rachel Brian.

Sometimes, these conversations occur organically, pulled from the fertile ground of a good story. Through Wilbur, we learn that it’s okay to be afraid of dying. Through Charlotte, we feel the sadness of losing someone we love. We discuss the circle of life. And by the time we reach the final pages, we are overcome by the possibility of joy—spirits renewed with a sunrise, the changing of seasons, the birth of a child, the start of a brand-new book.

Matilda and Monroe dressed as Charlotte and Wilbur for book character day at school. 

“All these sights and sounds and smells will be yours to enjoy, Wilbur—this lovely world, these precious days . . .”

“By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone’s life can stand a little of that.”

Even on the busiest days, I try to set aside time for reading with my children. Sure, I do this for them, hoping they will fall in love with literature and grow up to become kind, open-minded, and empathic human beings. But I also do this for myself. Soon Matilda and Monroe will be too old for footie pajamas and for snuggling next to me on the couch. These moments spent reading together lift up my life (far more than a trifle) and, like Charlotte, remind me to slow down, sit still, and cherish this lovely world, these precious days.

My 5 Favorites

• On weekend mornings my husband and the kids snuggle up on the couch and watch science and music videos, like “Higher Power” by Coldplay. This new song has become a recent favorite. The dancing holograms make the video even more fun to watch. 

• I just finished listening to this MAGICAL audiobook, The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune. It made me laugh and cry and just all around feel good about life. 5 out of 5 recommend! 

• I am kind of fascinated with the Royals. This podcast episode with Prince Harry on Armchair Expert combines my fascination with the important topic of mental health.

• Coconut rolls, coconut chips, coconut coffee...basically anything coconut I am going to eat right now. I have been known to stop for this snack at Sprouts.

• For longer-looking lashes, I have always put the blow dryer on my eyelash curler for about 10 seconds before curling my eyelashes. Now there is a heated eyelash curler that keeps me from burning my eyelids and can easily travel.

With gratitude,

Katie Schrodt

P.S. What’s the go-to book you share with your loved ones?