Letter 83: Here's to a Year of Hope
When we focus less on achieving
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Happy Wednesday!
I firmly believe that January is the worst month of the year. It is too long, too cold, and too dark. Christmas is over. And while I understand that February is the ugly counterpart to January, at least it is short! And spring is around the corner. Thank God.
In her letter today, Sarah tackles the hopes and fears that new beginnings can bring. In the case of February, it is a new year that perhaps we can only now prepare ourselves for. She writes that the year “2023 feels like a year of starting to dream again, and going beyond that, moving towards those dreams every day in small ways.” For myself, this idea of moving toward dreams for myself resonates. I have a toddler and spent the early days of new motherhood in a pandemic, both of which were isolating. And now, a fresh perspective is on the horizon. When we abandon the idea of perfection we can engage with (as Katie Schrodt wrote about in our first letter of the year) the frivolous, opening us up to the joy that surrounds us, and in turn, leading us toward fuller lives. —Emily
Click play to hear Sarah read today’s letter.
I saw the meme pictured below in December, and corny as it is, it kinda made me laugh. “2022 already!” I thought. Then, I realized, it was in fact about to be 2023. Surprise!
Maybe for me, it feels a little like 2019—blink—2023. Maybe I’m alone in this, but 2023 feels different from the last few years. 2020 and 2021 were fraught with covid, and 2022 still had lingering mask mandates where I live, alongside lingering fears of, What if this happens again!?
After years of wandering and fear, 2023 feels hopeful.
This year, I feel like making resolutions, something which my type-A personality loves but has been afraid to do for the past few years. Why make resolutions if there’s no certainty? What if everything falls apart?
I realized that beyond the uncertainty of covid, which became an easy scapegoat for a lot of feelings of failure in my life, I was feeling uncertainty in myself as well. Of course, you know all about that if you read my post-grad crisis essay from last year. I’ve been repeating to myself, My dreams are over. People who do amazing things are working on it or have done it. It’s too late to try. Ridiculous, I know.
I’ve been believing and repeating those lies for the past three years. I think it’s probably easy to repeat them for an entire lifetime. If I feel this at 24, it’s only going to get worse at 34, 54, and 64. I don’t want to be a person at any age who thinks it’s too late to try anything. So, my mantra for 2023 is Why not me?
When I say this, I’m not aiming for a heroic, “successful” outcome. Why not me?, isn’t Why can’t I become a billionaire movie star?, but more, Why can’t I write that book, regardless of if anyone reads it? Why can’t I try press-on nails? Why can’t I run a marathon?
The key to these “Why not me?” and “Why can’t I?” questions is they are less about achieving and more about trying.
At the turn of this year, I’m realizing more and more I can’t change the outcomes of my life, but I can take actions each day that move toward things I want to do and be. Nobody who’s done anything got there by accident.
I think often, my secret mantra has been, If I don’t try, I can’t fail, and wow, I hate to fail. And yet, everyone knows failure is necessary for growth. Duh.
2023 feels like a year of starting to dream again, and going beyond that, moving towards those dreams every day in small ways.
This year, I’m making resolutions, not in search of perfection, but because I don’t want life to just pass by and I never even tried the things that I wanted to do and be. Here’s to a year of hope!
Sarah’s 5 Favorite Things
New Year’s resolutions. I haven’t made them in a while, but I’m excited to accomplish some this year.
Santa Fe. I just went there for NYE and I LOVED IT.
The Mavs. After resisting watching Dallas Maverick games with my husband, I finally went to one and actually had a fun time.
My Kindle (I got one for Christmas and it’s so nice, after being a cynic about one for years I just love it).
My book reviews Instagram account @sarahcoolreads (I just started it as part of my new year's resolutions and it’s fun!)
With gratitude,
Sarah Wheeler
P.S. Sarah’s previous letter about “How to change the world…when you work 8-5 in a semi-meaningless job” is another must-read!
