Letter 61: A Heart for Others

When we find the joy ~ Limitless Women Series #1, Sam

Welcome to The Learning Curve, a weekly newsletter to share our understandings, joys, and learnings through personal narrative. Our writers span many generations, cultures, identities, and ethnicities.

We’d like to welcome our recent new subscribers! If you haven’t subscribed yet, please join us!

---

Hello, hello!

One of my closest friends often gives me a hard time about asking a million questions during a conversation. It’s true: People intrigue me and I’m constantly asking them to unpack more about their story and what moves them through life.

With this sentiment in mind, I’m thrilled to kick off our newest series today: Limitless Women. Because Emily and I have been fortunate enough to learn from so many women throughout our lives, we wanted to share our Q&As with each of them, with you, over the course of the next four weeks. We hope you enjoy each of them as much as we do.

Today’s feature is all about Samantha (Sam) Johnson, a woman who is an incredible part of my life. I’ve known Sam since she was a senior in high school and I can honestly say, my life is better for having known her. She’s since become a dear friend, a travel companion, a caretaker to my boys, and an incredibly important part of my family’s life. I’ve often told Sam what an old soul she is (as you’ll see below) and because of this, I’ve come to highly value her insights and ideas about people and our world. Her youthfulness is also a great example of the hopefulness I have in our young leaders and community builders. I firmly believe that everyone needs a Sam in their life! —Molly

---

“There’s no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish.”

Michelle Obama

You have always had a heart for service. Where does this come from and can you share any personal experiences from your life that modeled this emphasis on service?

I went to Catholic school from first grade through college, so I would be remiss if I didn’t attribute at least a small part of my “heart for service” to that experience. I do have a very vivid service memory from middle school, that I still think of often.

I was with some friends at St Leo’s Food Connection, one of Tacoma’s local food banks, packing boxes of food and handing them out to community members. I was sitting next to a man who looked at me and asked, “What did you get in trouble for?” Confused, I said, “Oh, I’m here for school because we all have to do some hours of community service.” He replied, “Ah, that’s good they make kids do that these days; stay in school and don’t get into trouble like me.” We parted and went along with our business.

I thought this nice man was just giving me life advice. In hindsight, I also remember he was wearing an orange jumpsuit and had “BITCHES” tattooed in an ornate font down his forearm. Dare I say a little awareness would have done middle school me some good, but that memory has provided a very pure and honest reminder that helping others is a choice we all can make. I’m now fortunate enough to choose how and when I serve my community, not because I need credit for a class, but because it makes me feel like I am adding value to the world. It's a privilege to decide when and how I help, but such a tangible action of love I hope more people take advantage of!

You work for the Red Cross, you have a background in disaster preparedness. Share with our readers what you do and why it’s important to you:

I do! I am the Program Lead for Youth Preparedness at National Headquarters for the American Red Cross. A mouthful of a title, but, essentially, I manage two programs that teach kids how to be prepared for and act during emergencies like home fires, earthquakes, hurricanes, wildfires… and more!

 What I find the most interesting about preparedness education is that it attempts to give people just a little bit more control over situations that are likely to be very chaotic (and maybe even traumatizing). For those of us who like to try to control what very little we can about our lives, trying to do the best we can to prepare for the unknown is often maddening. But, at the same time, preparing also reminds us that, in very stressful situations, we know exactly what to do because we’ve thought it through before. This same logic applies when teaching children how to think about emergencies.

Often, there is a tendency to shy away from teaching youth about “scary” things. But preparedness education is a powerful tool for enabling students to think through how they would react in a potentially stressful situation and practice what they would do ahead of time. Even if their initial reaction still might be to panic, after that first shock passes, they (and anyone really) have the capability to then follow the steps they know need to be taken to stay safe.

You are an old soul (aka I ask you for advice and I’m older than you!). Would you agree that you are and what does this mean to you?

This is something I’ve been told a few times in my life, so at least I know I am consistent! For me, this descriptor isn’t something I would go about introducing myself as, but I can now appreciate being called this and am humbled when others describe me as such. “Old soul” carries similar connotations to the word “leader” in my book. I would never call myself a leader unless someone I was managing or “leading” called me that first (Is this that Catholic school guilt/humility in me?). It feels like a title that must be earned rather than self-prescribed!

There was a point in my life where this descriptor would have made me sad to hear. Why is someone telling me I’m an old soul when I am only 22? Shouldn’t I be fun and carefree? Shouldn’t I be the life of the party? Am I wasting away my youthfulness acting like an old person? But now, having been called an old soul many times, I feel like it’s one of my best strengths. When I reflect on my relationships, I am very grateful people feel like they can trust me with so many parts of their lives and that they genuinely value my perspective. I am also thankful I have people in my life who are willing to take the time to know me well enough to assign a descriptor they believe suits me well. 

What inspires you to make a difference in our world? What keeps you going?

Truthfully, I really have to search for it these days. Inspiration seems very hard to come by amid the heaviness. Even when I catch a glimpse of it, I feel like I am immediately reminded of 80 other horrible things that are going on in the world. I doubt I am alone in this feeling, like I am just drowning in my lack of inspiration, but what else is there to do when every time we take one collective step forward, we also end up taking three steps back?

Lately, what I’ve really tried to home in on is finding any reason to celebrate, so I am reminded of the best parts of life. Realizing a friend and I had the same favorite childhood movie growing up? Amazing! This is the best news! A coworker got a promotion? Great! Let’s send them 15 congrats memes! My cousins are brave and try a new boba tea flavor? The courage! Let’s go again and try some more! The list goes on. I recently won the “Most Likely to Find a Reason to Celebrate” award at work, so I think it’s working. It feels like a coping skill, a survival mechanism if you will, but it’s been what’s keeping me going. These celebrations, of any size, allow me to do the best I can for the people nearest to me, which I feel is where I am able to make the world a little bit better and brighter.

Describe what your heritage means to you. What does it feel like to be a young Asian American woman in 2022?

I had a serious racial reckoning after the murder of George Floyd and because of the surge of Asian hate that occurred during the pandemic. As I started to learn more about my own biases, I found it interesting to reflect on my life and notice the areas I need to work on. I’ve also come to realize how I unconsciously allowed a world that was created for white people to shape how I perceived my value and place in this world. These learnings have helped me name past experiences as microaggressions or racial profiling. They have brought to light how I had unconsciously shielded away from my heritage to assimilate into a world designed for whiteness.

Through this, I feel like I'm clinging to my heritage now more than ever. I think this is partially because my grandmothers (who are both Japanese) are in their 90s, and their mortality seems more fragile. There is so much familial knowledge that I know will be lost when they go, so I feel more desperate to learn what I can now than I have in the past. I also think I’ve made a palpable shift in integrating anti-racism efforts into all aspects of my life – work, media, relationships, etc. I’m in a space where I am pushing myself to be more authentic, in all aspects of my life. My experience is mine alone, and I can’t speak for all young Asian American women out there, but I can fully embrace my heritage and allow myself to see it as a gift and not something to hide. 

You’ve traveled a lot at a very young age. Which trip taught you the most about yourself?

After college, I lived with the L’Arche community in Bologna, Italy for two months. L’Arche are communities where people with and without intellectual disabilities live and work together. I didn’t speak a word of Italian when I arrived, and it was one of the most jarring experiences of my life. I found it immensely challenging to connect and communicate with people without spoken language, work through misunderstandings, and celebrate life (sometimes when you’re not entirely even sure why, ha!).

Max, my good friend who had come to live at L’Arche from Germany, told me that despite how much I was struggling to learn the language and culture, it ultimately didn’t matter that I couldn’t speak Italian. Being there was an opportunity for me to learn how to show others I loved them and cared for them beyond words. Actions can be far more meaningful than words (said in English or Italian); that invaluable lesson has stuck with me ever since.

---

Rapid-Fire Questions with Sam

• Favorite bubble tea flavor?

  Thai milk tea and Taro milk tea are my favorite boba drinks!

• Your daily requirements?

  Exercise, food, water, fresh air, and sleep. A simple girl.

• Trapped on an island, what three things do you have to have?

  At first, I was going to say my dad, so he could figure out how to get us off the island! But he hates camping, so I’ll have to reconsider! Am I trapped on this island permanently or is this a time for me to relax and enjoy myself? Is this an emergency??? This is when working in disaster preparedness really hinders creativity…

• Favorite recent book?

  Not a book, but a column called “Mistranslate” by Nina Coomes. I stumbled upon it the other day, and her article “切ない (Setsunai): When You Need a Word to Hold Both Sorrow and Joy” really resonated with me (as did many of her others)!

• What do you wish people knew about 20-year-olds?

  The world feels very grim and all the big life milestones that were more attainable in your 20s back in the day (like buying a house) seem so out of reach. So, check in on the 20-year-olds in your life, give them a little pep talk, and ask them about the cool trends in the world. They’ll keep you hip and with the times!

• Favorite season in the Pacific Northwest?

  I am a summer girl through and through!

Thank you, Sam!

P.S. We also did a great series about female friendships through the decades. Read the first installment, Life Raft Friendships, focused on one’s 20s.

Thank you for reading The Learning Curve. This post is public so feel free to share it. our writers are so thankful when you tap the ❤️ and show them support.