Letter 43: Understanding One's Impact
When we recognize how others change us
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Happy middle of the week!
For those of you who are or were teachers, you’ll know about the joy in creating lifelong relationships with students. It’s such a sweet part of the job to watch students soar and succeed throughout their lives.
Our next writer, Sarah Hartwell, is one of those students for me. She’s an incredible young woman; and it was apparent even when she was in high school that her future was bright. While I taught Sarah in the classroom, one of my closest friends was fortunate enough to be Sarah’s coach and the two of them created a unique relationship. My friend, Julie, shared with me, “I first met Sarah when she was just a freshman in high school. While most people easily recognized her exceptional athleticism (she is an accomplished basketball player), those who were closest to her knew her dedication to family and faith were Sarah’s greatest attributes. I have always admired her close relationship with her mother, her unfailing poise, and her fierce loyalty to those she loves. On top of all of this, she has one of the most infectious laughs of anyone I know.” As you’ll see in today’s letter, Sarah’s joy in life and her deep faith are centrally important to her. —Molly
“Be still and know that I am God.”
Psalm 46:10
When I moved to Cleveland in 2018, I met Faith through a church friend. Faith and I were nomads in a new area due to work; and eventually, we both managed to leave the city within one year of meeting. And even though we didn’t know each other long, I believe my faith brought us together.
Faith was the first of us to leave Cleveland but before she moved away, she made sure no ice cream shop was left behind. If you have lived in Cleveland then you likely know about Mitchell’s Ice Cream, considerably the best ice cream in the city. Mitchell’s was the scene of one of my favorite Faith stories.
While Faith was preparing to move, she made it her goal to eat Mitchell’s every day until she left. Luckily, I had the opportunity to join Faith on her Cleveland Ice Cream Farewell Tour. She had zero intentions of ever visiting Cleveland once she left, so this was her last opportunity. Up to this point, I was unaware of her obsession.
When we arrived, we were met at the door with the smell of freshly baked waffle cones and luckily no line, which was rare. Faith walked quickly and confidently up to the counter and without hesitation, she ordered two scoops of bright blue cotton candy ice cream in a bowl. I thought she was joking at first, so I started to laugh and joked about it being my three-year-old nephew’s favorite ice cream. She looked at me, and with the biggest smile said, “I guess I am three years old because cotton candy ice cream is my favorite.”
We both busted out laughing and continued to laugh uncontrollably as we sat down at a corner table to enjoy our ice cream. This was my first time witnessing someone under twelve years old order cotton candy ice cream. Faith already looked ten years younger than her actual age, so her liking cotton candy ice cream was the cherry on top. During each of my adventures with Faith, including our trips for ice cream, I quickly understood her to be an open book who could talk about anything.
Between each blue bite she was telling me something new. Our conversations ranged from rescuing dogs to discussing our career paths. We were both early in our careers and trying to navigate young adulthood. Faith lived in the present and made decisions without worrying about having a clearly defined plan. Each time we were together, our conversations lasted much longer than our ice cream. That day at Mitchell’s, we talked until closing and confirmed dinner plans for later that week before heading home.
I never imagined then that I would lose Faith three years later. Her passing in 2021 was unexpected and heartbreaking.
As I’ve grieved, I’ve reflected on our friendship and spent time focusing on what she taught me about myself.
First and foremost, she helped me focus on getting out of my comfort zone. In 2021, I made the decision to move across the country from Washington, DC to Santa Cruz, CA for work. I have moved a lot in the past few years for work, but this move required me to adapt to a new area during the pandemic and join a workplace where English is not the first language for the majority of the workforce.
Making new connections, outside of work, has been difficult due to the lack of diversity where I live and work. This experience has required me to truly live out the phrase, “Get comfortable being uncomfortable.” Besides growing both personally and professionally, I’ve found the confidence to go after things that look uncomfortable, which is something Faith did regularly.
This leads me to another thing Faith taught me: To pursue the things my heart desires without any fear. I am considering pursuing something that would require me to give up everything for at least three years. This decision would stretch my faith and put me in a vulnerable position that doesn’t have a guaranteed outcome or clear path.
Most importantly, Faith instilled in me the importance of friendship and taking time to build relationships. Since her passing, I have been more intentional with visiting and talking to friends and family more consistently. I specifically call my grandma at least one to two times per week to talk about whatever is on her mind.
I knew Faith for about three years, but it felt like a lifetime due to the impact she made on my life. As I continue to live each day I plan to keep her teachings in my heart.
Sarah’s Five Favorite Things
I play this song, Jireh, by Maverick City Music at least once a day! It is my daily reminder to trust God and stay content no matter what is going on around me.
I am excited to read Bob Goff’s newest book Undistracted. I highly recommend all of his books!
I do not shop often, but ZARA usually has great deals and cute statement pieces.
I consider myself Lebron James’ biggest fan and he will forever be my GOAT. Lebron is also one of the main reasons why I fell in love with basketball.
I love these two podcasts right now: Christine Caine: Equip & Empower and Skimm This. Christine Caine is a little firecracker that has a gift of sharing God's truth in a clear and concise way. I am not a fan of watching the news, so the Skimm This podcast helps me stay up to date with what is going on around the world.
With gratitude,
Sarah Hartwell
P.S. Who is the Faith in your life? What has she/he taught you? Share with us in the comments below.
I AM ABOUT TO CRY! THIS IS AMAZING AND I KNOW THIS WAS NOT EASY FOR YOU BUT I TRULY BELIEVE THAT I AND OTHERS NEEDED THIS.
Sarah! This letter was so beautiful! Thanks you so much for sharing about your friend, Faith. She sounds like someone I'd want to have in my life and I'm so grateful to have gotten to know a little bit about her through you! Wishing you all the luck as your adventure out of your comfort zone! I'm always rooting for you!