Letter 12: True Nourishment
Letter 12: True Nourishment
When we choose ourselves
Happiest of Wednesdays and a big welcome to our newest contributor, Kara Purschwitz!
As you’ll see in her bio at the end of this post, Kara is a high school English teacher in Fort Worth, Texas. But, more personally, Kara and I taught together and shared a classroom for several years. Sharing a classroom can be a delicate dance, but it certainly was always easy with Kara. In addition to seeing one of my best friends every day, I was able to sit alongside Kara and watch her work. I learned so much from her: from organizational skills, lesson planning, classroom management, and laughing off parents’ passive-aggressive comments, to great book recommendations and the logistics of co-parenting. What I love most about Kara’s letter is that she unapologetically takes time for herself: she knows what drains her tank and what refills it, modeling for her daughters and for us to take time for ourselves to rest, to create, and to recharge. I’ve also added the ingredients for her pork roast with cherry rum sauce to this week’s grocery list. Now I just need to figure out how to incorporate the cherry rum sauce into a cocktail…
And a bit of a “disclaimer”: Kara’s recipes are truly her own! In some cases she will use a published recipe as a starting point (see the Pork Roast with Cherry Rum Sauce below); however, most of the recipes she mentions are her own creation, which means we aren’t able to provide links to these delicious recipes. Perhaps it can serve as an opportunity to take a page from Kara’s book and let the ingredients speak to us and lead us where they may! — Emily
“I sit at the table and cut a bite of the lasagna. I don’t know what I’m going to be, or who I am not; my own desires are thickly layered like the food on my plate, but I know that one day soon I’ll be a grown-ass woman. So, I let myself enjoy the meal, the moment, and my own company”
Elizabeth Acevedo, from With the Fire on High
A few years ago, we had the worst day at work. So bad people still make jokes about how awful it was. I work at a great place, and bad days are few and far between, but this one was boring, exhausting, and infuriating all rolled into one.
That night, many of my coworkers collapsed on the couch, played with their kids, read a great book, or otherwise found a way to come back to who they are and feel human again.
I went straight home and made risotto.
Being in the kitchen, creating excellent, delicious, and nourishing food, is what makes me feel human. When I’ve lost my patience, yelled at my kids, and feel like I’m not cut out to be a mother, I can go to my kitchen and create a parmesan minestrone to serve with warm, crusty bread and feel capable once again. When I’m buried in essays to grade and can’t find a way to get through to a defensive student, I can face the week ahead with new strength by spending my Sunday roasting a pork loin in a cumin and coriander rub while I simmer a cherry rum sauce on the stovetop. I know just the right strawberry chicken salad to enjoy on a warm spring picnic and can’t wait to celebrate the first cool, crisp day of fall with my favorite apple kielbasa bake.
Many wonderful things have been written about cooking as an act of service, a way to nourish your friends and family. But for me, cooking is an inherently and gloriously selfish act. The kitchen is the place where I can do what I love for myself and by myself. My three- and seven-year-old daughters refuse to eat what I cook at least half the time and usually end up with a microwave corn dog and cut-up fruit. Of course my husband appreciates my cooking, but I know deep down he’d also be content with a sandwich or a bowl of cereal. My food—the taste, the experience, the joy of it—is for me.
Having an activity that I do consistently for myself and that makes me feel confident and capable is absolutely vital to my well-being. Cooking makes me a better mother, wife, and teacher, not because it allows me to serve others, but because it brings me back to a stronger sense of who I am as a person, separate from each of those roles.
Whatever roles you are filling these days, I encourage you to make regular space in your life for something that makes you feel human, capable, and confident. Find ways to serve yourself and enjoy your own capabilities so that you can return to those other important roles refreshed, encouraged, and strengthened by your own gifts.
Pork Roast with Cherry Rum Sauce
(Based on a recipe by Michael Symon)
For the roast: For the sauce:
3-5 pound pork loin 1c spiced rum
2T coriander 1 orange
2T cumin ¼ c red wine vinegar
2T kosher salt 2T sugar
1t black pepper 3c pitted dark cherries
2 T olive oil ½ T butter
Combine coriander, cumin, salt, and pepper, and rub all over pork loin, then drizzle with olive oil. Roast at 450 for 15 minutes, then lower to 350 and roast until done (45-60 minutes).
In a saucepan, combine the rum, juice of the orange, 2 shavings of orange peel, vinegar, and sugar. Simmer over medium heat until reduced by half, about 10 minutes. Add cherries to the sauce and cook until cherries break down and sauce thickens, 20-30 minutes. Stir in butter before serving.
My 5 Favorites
These shelf-stable sourdough loaves from Costco are a great staple to have on hand to pair with any meal, and you can store them in the pantry for months.
I’m a mosquito magnet and was so happy to discover these OFF! Deep Woods towelettes that I can keep in my purse for emergencies when I don’t have a bottle of repellent spray.
My favorite TV chef is Nadiya Hussain. She’s charming and fun, and her recipes are great. Her teriyaki chicken noodles are now in regular rotation at my house.
I’m not a great lover of non-fiction books, especially of the self-help type, but I can’t say enough good things about The Lazy Genius Way by Kendra Adachi. Her podcast and Instagram are also well worth your time.
My go-to treat is a cup of hot Irish breakfast tea, with 2 tsp. of Splenda and a splash of milk, and an almond windmill cookie from Trader Joe’s.
With gratitude,
Kara Purschwitz
P.S. How do you like to decompress on stressful days? Share your secret below!